I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
