There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Houston, we have a blender
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
