nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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