when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just had sex on a roof
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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