so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
