I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
