I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
