That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
