Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
