I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
