Where is the hickey?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
