The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
we're making bets on your personal life
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
