i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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