If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
