So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
