If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
