I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so that wasnt chicken after all
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
