he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
