Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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