hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
