OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
