there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
