haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
