Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
