I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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