please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
