You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
