Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Watching her eat just hurts me
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
