Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
