i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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