she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize