dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
