His pubic hair was longer than his dick
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
