I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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