drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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