we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
