I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
