I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
