he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
