but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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