Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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