I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Duck Duck Cougar?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
