We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
