Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
