yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
