he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Two words: nipple clamps
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