id be glad to
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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