did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
