I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
