I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
